No more baking!!!

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Posted Mon, Oct 10, 2011

"Yum!": Home-made vanilla cake. Photo by LeAndra Fagen

When I was 15, I decided to make a home-made cake for the first time. Let’s just say I am no baker, yet alone a chief by any means. I do, however, come from a family that are wonderful cooks for all and any occasions. My family is from New Orleans, and Cajun cooking and sweet treats come natural to anyone who cooks and bakes. That is everyone but me. You would think making a simple vanilla cake would be easy; butter, eggs, vanilla, sugar, flour, and salt baking soda right? It sounds delicious, well not after I made it.

Everything was coming along just fine; I was mixing the required ingredients and following the directions perfectly. My family even gave me thumbs up for baking, seeing how I never spent anytime in the kitchen. Finally, it was time to bake and take the cake out the oven. The cake looked amazing, but when my family and I went to enjoy it, we got a huge shocker. The vanilla cake tasted like soap.

For some reason, I thought baking soda was short for dish soap. Partly, because I never used baking soda, and for some reason when I did, I thought of soap. So when the cake called for baking soda, I replaced it with dish soap.

The Right Stuff: All the ingredients to make a soap cake. Photo by Laurence Washington

I remember telling my mom when she asked why it tasted like soap, I said, “I thought it was soap. You never told me otherwise. I also thought it would dissolve into the cake, and that’s what made the cake fluffy, and we wouldn’t be able to taste the soap in it.” I thought it was weird too that the receipt called for soap.

Since that day, I have been cut off from the kitchen and baking all together. This took place six years ago, and since then I have tried to cook and nothing turns out right for me. My cookies are flat. My brownies are hard as rocks. I have caught my stove on fire at least five time. My oven has caught on fire once or twice.I exploded my microwave. And I even had a boyfriend break up with me because he said I wasn’t “house wife” material since my cooking always tasted horrible. Thank God for take-out!

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5 Responses to “No more baking!!!”

  1. James Crussell Says:

    Sounds like what would happen if I attempted to bake a cake. Thank God for take-out is right!

    Reply

  2. kmd Says:

    Fun stuff. I’d recommend separating quotes from actual narrative though, despite this obv. being a pretty casual piece. And just as an aside, a little more liberal use of the thesaurus would be nice: words like “horrible” and “exploded” are downers in an otherwise well-constructed story.

    Reply

  3. Kevin Rostad Says:

    Don’t worry, at least your trying to cook. That’s more than I’ve ever done. Even if it doesn’t taste that good, at least you are trying.

    Reply

  4. Nikki Says:

    Way to go, LeAndra…just kidding. For my birthday, feel free to bring me a store brought cake!

    Reply

  5. Lottie Says:

    You write so hoelstny about this. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

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