’Till death do us part: The rules to dating online

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Posted Sat, Sep 22, 2012

"Online Dating"

BRAVE NEW WORLD: More and more people are turning to online dating sites in search of true romance. (Photos by Antoinette Brown)

WORLD WIDE WEB — Many people are in the search for that special someone, and more people are considering online dating. But once someone gets this far and starts an account on a dating website, many people may ask what are the rules to online dating? Online dating may be very pleasant, but it can also a nightmare if you do not know what you are doing.

A hopeful romantic may be in too big of a hurry to get their picture posted on a website so they can start dating. The problem with this concept is that there are rules to online dating, and some are more obscure then others. But anyone who is considering online dating should know the rules.

Consider Melissa, a smart successful law student who just got out of another dead end relationship.

“I was booked with time, so I thought instead of trying to meet guys at the bar, I should try online dating,” Melissa says.

So Melissa went to an online dating site and posted a detailed biography. She posted the best photos of herself that she could find — 15 to be exact.

“I browsed through as many photos as I could- looking for Mr. Perfect,” she says. “Before I could click on a profile, I got an instant message from a guy by the screen name MrGoodTime28 and the words, ‘Hi beautiful,’ were right in front of me. I thought, ‘Wow already!’ I just put up my aid, but I did not complain. I responded immediately and said, ‘Hi. How are you?’ And thanks for the compliment.’

“His response, ’Sure thing. How is a beautiful woman like you single?’ he asked. I then began to explain that I had been in one bad relationship after another, and felt I would never find my Prince Charming. He then said, ‘Well stop looking. I am here.’ I felt as if I was in Heaven,” Melissa says.

For the next month Melissa new she had met the man of her dreams. They had late night phone calls that lasted for hours, and the E-mails were endless. And MrGoodTime28 asked Melissa to cancel her subscription and become exclusive, which Melissa did without hesitation.

MrGoodTime28 was in another state, but promised Melissa that he would relocate to be with her. Unfortunately, Melissa and her lovely Beau, ended their short courtship after one month of chatting back and forth online. Melissa sent him more than $1,000 during their short love affair, for loans that MrGoodTime28 promised to pay back.

Melissa called her Prince Charming rapidly to no avail. She also tried to reach him on the dating website, where she noticed he canceled his account. Melissa was devastated, and many people unfortunately are in the same situation. Melissa felt alone and broke, not only her heart but her bank account.

"Online Dating Site"

Photo By Antoinette Brown

Had Melissa knew some rules of dating online this heart-wrenching story would be fiction. There are basic rules to get started when dating online. Some things may be valuable, while others may seem ridiculous. The choice is completely up to the person curious about the rules, and how they may improve their chances to online dating successfully.

Joann Miller, 42, who met her husband of 10 years on a dating website gives her thoughts to dating online successfully.

“Women should never answer a man’s aid no matter how irresistible she finds him,” Joann explains. “It’s been my experiences that love works best when the man is the aggressor- also how will a woman know if a man is crazy about her if she is the initial aggressor.

“Also do not instant messages guys right away,” Joann adds. “This shows that you are available and easy. Guys like a challenge.

Joann says that when someone is considering to date online, they should do research on the websites and to get some history about the sites they are interested in choosing.

“I did not know where to begin, so before committing to a website I read the reviews and successful rates for marriage and relationships,” she says. “If the dating website is good, they will have a page dedicated to stories that turned into marriage.”

Daniel Herrera, 41, met his wife Jaime on an online dating site and gives his advice.

“There are no rules, just be smart,” he says. “If you are serious about finding a relationship or marriage, pick a site that requires members to pay. This shows that the people you meet maybe serious about finding love. But beware of the sites that are free. Those are usually the guys just trying to hook up. I used to be one of them. Watch out for screen names that say Goodtool4u, Playa#1, and any names that are sexual in nature.”

 Many sites will let you sign up for free, but to communicate with others you must first subscribe and become a member. When you meet someone you are interested in do not give your personal information including your address, phone number and full name. Once you decide to meet someone, it is OK if you exchange E-mails and agree on a date and time to meet which is called a date zero.

Meeting someone for the first time should always be in a public place. And when you are meeting for a date, it should be on your lunch hour or after work for quick drinks. Always let a family member or friend know who you are meeting and where. It is important to have someone know what time you are expected to return home and who you are planning to meet. If you ever do meet someone that is out of state, do not get caught in the long E-mails and phone calls. If the person is serious, they will set up a date for a visit.

Never under any circumstances send nude photos or money. There are many con-artists that are just looking to swindle you out of some cash. The internet is not always your friend, and just because you send someone an E-mail of what you think, you have no way of preventing who will see it. Online dating can be fun, but beware that online dating can also be dangerous. Have fun and be safe.

About Antoinette Brown

Antoinette Brown is a young woman that has a passion for writing. She enjoys the idea of sharing her thoughts with the world. Ever since Antoinette was a little girl words intrigued her, and she grew to love how words could be so powerful on paper. At the age of 8 Antoinette grew to love the local newspaper, she would cut out pictures to articles and then make up her own stories. Her family started to hide the paper so they could see the pictures to articles before Antoinette could get her hands on it. As a teenager Antoinette’s passion for writing grew and by the time she was 16 years old she started to think about writing for a career and began to pursue journalism. She began to write stories and features in a journal because writing brought her pleasure. When Antoinette was 16 years old her grandmother passed away and Antoinette found that her grandmother was also a writer but never pursued a writing career. That was Antoinette motivation to become a writer In May of 2012 Antoinette graduated from the Community College of Denver with an Associate of Arts degree with an emphasis in Journalism. Coming from a big family and becoming the first to graduate from college. Antoinette is determined for greatness and her biggest goal is to one day become a Pulitzer Prize winner and columnist for the New York Times.

View all posts by Antoinette Brown

11 Responses to “’Till death do us part: The rules to dating online”

  1. Ashley King Says:

    This was good story. I never knew things like what happened to people with online dating. All the rules you gave to the readers were great. A lot of people don’t think of the rules that apply to online dating.

    Reply

  2. Spencer Hunt Says:

    Very insightful! Great job!

    Reply

  3. Stephen Young Says:

    I agree. You got very interesting, insightful stories & quotes from your interviewees. The last paragraph is sobering, but has some common sense lessons and a good kicker.

    Reply

  4. Antoinette Says:

    Thanks all:)

    Reply

  5. Mz Sexy Says:

    Excellent Advise 🙂

    Reply

  6. destiny zepher Says:

    This was an interesting subject to read about. So many people sign up for online dating sites without knowing the do’s and don’ts of using the site, which in my opinion will result in more successful outcomes if they read an article like this, letting people know some of the things to do and what not to do! Using quotes from peoples experiences was an awsome way to paint a better picture of the whole thing!!
    great job!!!!

    Reply

  7. antoinette Says:

    Thank you for the comments

    Reply

  8. Odessa Smith Says:

    Very good read. Touch on important areas that all need to know. Like the article.

    Reply

  9. antoinette Says:

    Thank you Mrs. Smith

    Reply

  10. Leah Says:

    Very interesting and very easy to read! The article flowed very nicely, and I like the format in which you wrote it. Nice job!

    Reply

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